Drank Myself In To A Man

When AKL first went dry, there was a huge party held to close out the wet era, or so we thought. That's a party and a green tee shirt for another day. But one memory of that night involved one of the stranger brothers in the house, Sickle Cell, aka Tool, a guy so weird it was miracle of a girl asked him for directions as she passed him on the street. But on this night, Sickle Cell became a man for the first time in his otherwise banal existence. But much to the joy of everyone he left his window curtains open, so an audience of people cheered him on as he plowed this unsavory female. I remember proclaiming that he had lost his cherry as the crowd cheered in unison. Did Sickles leave the blinds open intentionally? I guess we'll never know, mainly because no one really cares. But at least he had come a long way from busting a nut on the dance floor.

Play Some Rock n' Roll !!!

Rocket was a product of the 80s. Ted Madden thought he was a product of the 70s. He wore vintage Clapton tour T-shirts in a steady rotation and decorated his room with album covers.

One time during the summer we were playing some kind of celebrity drinking game where you wrote down famous names and put them in a jar. I don't recall the rules, but most people put in well known musicians and actors. Ted loaded the jar with Joe Walsh, Randy Bachtman, and other, more obscure classic rock musicians.

At one point I looked at the paper and asked "Who is Laurie McKenzie?"

Ted responded, astonished by my ignorance, "He's the drummer for The Guess Who !!!"

As you can imagine our party bands were not up to Ted's standards. One time at AGR, the band took the stage and started whaling down some alternative rock. (Yeah, Mitch I got some student alt-rock band.) Ted proceeded to heckle them by repeatedly screaming "Play some muthafuckin rock and roll !!!"

Great Moments in Shaming: Episode II: The Hurricane

Ah yes, the Hurricane. This was a girl who meandered in to the house courtesy of Vampire Kelly (a story for another day) and White Ethiopian. She promptly struck up a relationship with Seedman, which was bizarre for numerous reasons. She developed an infatuation with the Franchise, which lead to a drunk hook-up after a party at TEP. The Franchise was amazed to feel a cavern when he reached downstairs and discovered his hand had gone. Later, when regailing the story to Rush Chair at the Saloon, the Franchise tried to describe the situation by saying 'including the thumb'. The alcohol induced communication errors lead to this being interpretaed as 5 fingers AND a thumb. Upon returning to the house, The Colonel was promptly called (from the kitchen phone) where he listened intently, then applied to his meteorology expertise to grant the girl a nickname of The Hurricane, as in Category 5. By this point her shame has been sealed, but that didn't stop her from bottoming out with a Karowls/Gunther weekend double dip. After this she packed on the pounds and faded out of our lives forever.

The Wisdom of G-Man Guy

Sunday nights meant chapter and post-chapter meant cheap wings at the G-Man. During the warm months we hustled to get an outdoor table and listen in to conversation of "G-Man" guy. We have never confirmed the exact age or occupation of the guy, but we believe him to be a manager at the movie theater next door. Older and wiser, he had a blue collar air about him and propensity to tell it how it is. Here are a few snippets of knowledge we learned from him as he instructed his minions.

"Let me tell you what this job is. You clock in. You put on your shirt. And you f**k off."

"F*****g her was like sticking your d**k in a garage door."

Psycho vs Rocket in King of the Mountain

A few times, the Rocket had a buddy of his from back in the day, known to us as Psycho, come for a visit. When this occured these two men born during the Johnson Administration would get hammered, usually on cheap beer such as Jacob's Best or Golden Anniversary Ice (Anniversary of what you ask? A mystery that will never be solved). This would usually result in the two of them hitting on frightened girls nearly half their age and then blaming their failed advances on the fact that one brother had told the girls they were old. So ultimately the duo would seek a brother to give them a ride to Giant 'to pick up some bimbos and get laid for the night.' Yes, only in a world like AKL is a supermarket regarded as place to garner some late night tail. One other adventure had Psycho and Rocket going to The Last Cowboy, a bar on the fringes of the university scene, where Rocket proclaimed they saw a man banging a one-legged midget in a car.

Of course for whatever reason, Psycho made an appearance at a social event on Tussy Mountain. While the rest of us were snowtubing with some lady folk, the Rocket and Psycho engaged in an all out tube war that not surprisingly escalated to threats of permanent expulsion by management. This marked the end of Psycho's appearances at the AKL house. Rocket apologetically offered to us that he owed Psycho because he took the fall for him during an egging incident involving Apartheid protestors in the 1980's. Ah well, if only Chance Worthington had visited instead.

Gerausschmissen aus dem Piratenschiff

Thats German for "kicked out of the Pirate Ship". Thats exactly what happened to Otis Day on our first night of our spring break trip to Germany. The night began at a kick-ass Irish Pub in the city of Mainz. We were treated to a German version of Bryan Adams's 'Summer of 69' before departing in a cab for a place called Euro Palace. It was a giant warehouse that was converted into a nightclub. It resembled a drinking theme park with different areas including a giant Pirate Ship that had different levels of dancing and drinking. After making a full walk-around where I had my picture taken in front of a giant Jabba wall mural, we proceeded to enter the hull of Pirate Ship. Otis and myself ordered drinks. I ordered a bottled beer while Otis acquired a gigantic Long Island Iced Tea. After a while I left him in the ship and hit the dance floor. An hour passed and Otis was missing in action. Our group assembled in the lobby hoping to find him. And then he appeared. Levitating as two huge German bouncers blitzed him toward the front door. He turned to look at us and said "What's happening?". We were happy to find him and headed back to Bowen's friends apartment. That's where Otis remained for the next 24 hours nursing a massive hangover.

Cindy Song Has Been Perforated By Rock Legend Bruce Dickinson's Rifle

Cindy Song, as any Penn Stater of the early part of the 21st century knows, was a girl who went missing one Halloween night. For the next few years we were inundated with posters and rallies asking about her whereabouts. Now to be honest I wouldn't know Cindy Song if she was sitting next to me. That said, it became quite obvious the girl was either dead or ran away for good. The result, in typical Ackle fashion, was a barrage of Cindy Song jokes...not limited to halloween costumes, remarks that she was cooked up in Uncle Chen's, and becoming a handle in Medal Of Honor...a widely popular game on the house network that was akin to gun tag. Every time Cindy Song was killed, we would be treated to her name followed by a clever verb describing her less than glorious death.

The Cindy Song drama culminated with a Robert Stack Unsolved Mysteries episode with some great re-enactment footage of the Penn State drunk scene. My guess? Cindy was whacked in the head with a bottle thrown from Cedarbrook and fell down a manhole. That may sound insensitive, but it's better than getting annihilated by Son of Saboito's hand grenade

Adventures at Sera-Tec

In college there were times when it was hard to make ends meet. During the summer we had many lazy days when we had nothing better to do than donate our blood plasma at Sera-Tec for 25 bucks.When you reasoned it out, it wasn't a bad deal. 25 bucks could get you a long way with that great State College exchange rate.

One day I tagged along with Rocket for the full Sera-Tec experience. At that point Rocket had become a Sera-Tec regular and he took me under his wing. Just a little pinch and your blood was drained and the plasma extracted via some kind of centrifuge. In the meantime you were able to lay back and enjoy a movie. That day's feature was E.T. and Rocket provided the running directors commentary complete with alien impersonations. When I look back I realize this was one my most surreal memories of college. Selling my blood plasma while watching E.T. with my 37 year old fraternity brother. Definetly worth the memory.

Behind the Wheel with The Rocket

The Rocket once showed us a home movie that he made with his 80s fraternity brothers. It included many mullets and dumb antics. One memorable scene in the film includes Rocket riding shotgun in a car with an actual shotgun on College Avenue. The 80s must have rocked.

Once we thawed Rocket out of his frozen 80s man cocoon he took to his wild vehicular antics once more. One night in a drunken stupor Rocket attempted to drive to Sharkies, but was stopped by 2 brothers who didn't think he was in any shape to drive.

Rocket tried to argue with them and proclaimed, "I'm not down with all these new by-laws"

Another night Rocket did manage to drive drunk and hit a lightpost outside of McClanahans. The next day he asked The Colonel if he would do him a favor and go down to McClanahans and retrieve the pieces of his bumper that were strewn all over the curb and sidewalk. He was paranoid the cops would ID his vehicle from the plastic fragments.

Lastly his car was due for inspection and Rocket felt his ride would not pass the test of an upstanding inspector. Instead he inquired to many brothers including Colonel, Otis, and Franchise if they knew a place that would "slap a sticker" on his car. Oh yeah, Rocket, I know corrupt auto-mechanics all over State College.

The Colonel's Police Force

The Colonel swore to uphold the laws and serve the Penn State community by enlisiting as an Auxiliary Officer of the Penn State Police Department. Basically he was a rent-a-cop. During the summer you would often spot him performing meaningless security duties on campus. The job had upsides . . . good pay and you could choose your own shifts. The downside was that you had to work traffic detail before and after football games. Fortunately he did those shifts during the dark times of PSU football.

He was also able to enlist fellow AKL's to his cause. The Franchise joined the force and was once assigned to the mysterious checkpoint known as the Meats Lab. It is that little building across the street from the Joe Pa statue. Another football game The Franchise pulled solo duty guarding the helicopter landing zone which was the baseball field on the west side of the stadium.
It was lonely and boring in the dugout so The Franchise defiled the uniform, but pleased himself by cranking one out in his solitude.

A couple meat heads joined the force later in 2002 after The Colonel's retirement. One was ceremoniously assigned The Colonel's radio number 4389 to carry on the tradition. The other meathead blew off a football wake-up call after a run-in with Mad Dog the night prior. Much like 19th century Irish immigrants, AKL's had a proud tradition to serve and protect with the police.

AKL --- The Ground Floor

When you think about the bottom floor of AKL during our time there...one thing comes to mind... at least it wasn't all blue yet. Still, as insanely ugly as the whole area was, it did have some features. Remember Club Ass Pants, which all seated the house computer (and the house screenname Tau Timbers, later changed to AcKelHolic). Club Ass Pants paved the way for Pub Ass Pants as people got older and lazier and Rocket started sleeping there. Then there was the attempted fix-up of the back patio, which mainly consisted of a trip to the store to buy a table and chairs, and of course astroturf. This had a longer lifespan the most other house projects. It was so popular that The Colonel considered painting a Tree of Taste Mural on the back porch wall. Thankfully this project bit the dust. But there were still many great memories. Then there were the features that were there before we got there...like the crappy bar, the dungeon, and my personal farovite ...The Jim Johnson lounge. Who was Jim Johnson? I have no idea. But all I know is that Jim was probably not thrilled about having a lounge that really was nothing more than a plaque and a couch in the corner of the dining area.

Slush Pong

As 55 cup beer pong became more popular (at least among the 4 people who seemed to play it every time), one such classic game occured one January when the heat at the Ritz-AKL ceased working. The thermostat in my room was all the way to the left, which meant the temp inside was well under 40 degrees. The brothers all raced to Lowes to pick up space heaters (except Trae, who claimed to have hooked up in an aisle in Lowes). Anyway such Antarctic conditions could hardly curb beer pong efforts. So 55 cup was set up, and the 4 players were in gloves, coats, and everythign else to be beat the bitter conditions. I remember even firing up the oven between shots to warm up my hands. The beer was practically like water ice when drinking it. Still everyone played on, and eventually the game was finished. Of course it still took several more days to fix the heat, leaving us to live like eskimos for the early part of the semester. Yet another in a long line of house shortcomings.

The Reefer Madness of King Fingers

Fingers was an innocent All-American guy, it took AKL to corrupt him. First came the alcohol followed by his discovery of second base. One of the strangest times in Finger's AKL saga was the first 2 weeks of the 2002 spring semester. Not sure if was an intentional New Year's Resolution or a way to ease chronic pain, but suddenly Fingers turned into a stoner overnight. He started running with the reefer crowd and would appear from smoke-filled rooms coughing and giggling incessantly. The munchies set in as well when Fingers threatened to throw the Goat's lizard into the fryer basket and eat it with a ranch dipping sauce. Fingers and Mary Jane's love affair didn't last for long and a peculiar chapter in AKL history came to an end just as it started to become interesting.

The Miracle In the Dark

Athletic gatherings were farely common in the world of Ackel. While 90% of these athletics involved the bicep workout known as beer pong, there were actual events. One such classic was a spirited football game that took place by the field hockey field. It was a gritty, back and forth battle. As the game wore on and my team trailed, the lights illuminating our field were abruptly shut off. Just when it seemed all hope was lost, the quarterback heaved a hail mary pass for what seemed like the length of the field. I believe Rodgers wound up hauling it in, giving the team was I was on the victory. The moment has since become the stuff of legend, and was discussed briefly at chapter during that week. Sure, there were no ESPN cameras or blogs to hype up the event. But the moment will live on in people's memories (probably) and at least is now immortalized on this blog.

A Spring Break To Remember

In the spirit of The Colonel's account of the Niagara trip, I thought I'd reminisce about a trip to Panama City Beach, Florida. The story begins the night before, when the Rocket got beyond angry at someone named Dave Styles and swore revenge. We never did find out what happened, but I remember trying to get the Rocket to put a bag of frozen peas on his head to stop the bleeding.

Anyway we departed for the epic drive in Fast Eddie's car, who drive like a corpse but wouldn't let anyone else drive. We napped at a rest stop in North Carolina, where it started to rain and Otis Day, sans weather degree, proclaimed that it would rain the rest of the way to the panhandle. We got there, it was cold out, but that didn't stop the fun. Seedman and Associate joined us from Texas, and it was on to good times. Otis Day, myself, and another brother were the only 21 year olds. We wend out one night and quickly struck up a conversation with a cute girl. It was thwarted soonafter though when she mentioned she was from New York, which triggered an ire in Otis Day rarely seen before.

One afternoon, 2 of our humble bloggers has our most effortless hook-ups of our lives courtesy of the same girl, named for a European country. I had seen the girl less than a second before she was breaking out the knob polish. Seedman tried to join our fray, telling her she was a dirty girl in going for the bam...but it was not to be. She resurfaced for a few hook-ups later in the week, triggering an overblown story about anal deviance.

Another great memory involves beer pong in Seedman's room. Seedman became very intoxicated and was unable to make it out that night. Like a dying soldier, he begged us to take his friend out on the town. I think we did him proud.

All in all it was a great week that coined the term 'redneck beer coozy' among other great memories. Two thumbs up.

We have Hawkins

One of the best random road trips occured in late August of 2001 when The Franchise, The Colonel, and Otis Day made the pilgrimage to Niagara Falls, Canada. Many classic moments ensued over the following 2 days. First off we were excited to see 'Nightmares' which we thought was a local nightclub, but turned out to be a haunted house tourist trap.

This was followed by a night of heavy drinking and bad karaoke by The Colonel and Franchise. The Colonel nursed a hangover by watching 'Force Ten from Navarone' starring Harrison Ford and Robert Shaw. He was also aided by a delightful Canadian Cider known as 'Hawkins'. We'll get back to that later.

The rally was on as we headed to Rumours Nightclub where we held court for several hours. Next stop was the Casino where The Franchise bumped into a crazy Asian and pointed out to the Colonel that the bartender only had one arm.

While Colonel and Franchise made the rounds, Otis Day got a heavy dose of Canadian Sauce. Later on at the hotel 2 women came to our patio and asked if we had anything to drink. The Colonel exclaimed joyfully, "We have Hawkins". One girl was hot while the other was a small step up from the Caveman. Any hopes of pulling ass were thwarted when Otis Day entered into an alcohol-induced diatrabe cursing the turf at Veterans Satdium which caused the cancellation of the Eagles-Ravens preseason game. Somehow he also felt that Jews were responsible for the wrinkles in the astroturf and this signalled the exit of our new lady-friends.

International Treasure

One of my favorite people to ever venture through the halls of AKL was a man by the name of Paul Chikola, whose only exposure to our country was via the twisted world of AKL. Paul moved from India in January and was thrown immediately in to pledging. Since he never attended class, he never saw a world outside of AKL. Not surprisingly, after a year or so of floating AKL in a barren room, Paul was returned to India when it was discovered by his parents that had maintained an even 0.0 Grade Point Average. Still, he was a goofy bastard, best rememberd by me for the email he sent out after seeing a woman's breasts for the first time (through a wet tee shirt contest)

Cheating Life By Existing: Portraits from the Bottom of ACKEL: Biff

When I think of Biff, I don't remember what he looked like. That's how lame he was in my book. Biff was a case of unfulfilled potential. He had the right look while pledging but soon became little more than a waste of space. One brother remarked that the number one crime in Biff's Rhode Island community was beastiality. I don't know about that, but I do know that there were a lot of signs pointing to his alleged sexual relationship with his sister (the working out together, the romantic weekend in New York, the similar, disagreeable personalities). The bottom line is that I'll always remember Biff as a waste of Busch that could have been used for late night beer pong.

Notable Affiliates

Throughout our tenure we had groupies, urinal flies, and outside friends. Some of our friends represented a booster club much like "Friends of the New Jersey State Police". But instead of using a window sticker as a futile attempt at avoiding getting pulled over, our friends wore the badge to gain a behind the scenes glimpse at our twisted brotherhood. Here are some of most notable affiliates.

Phil - A friend of Gunther, Phil was always around. Phil gets props for actually hanging with the brotherhood unlike Gunther's other shady mystery friends. Not much else to say about Phil. He liked football and became a meathead in his latter years

Hank - Hank was a sidekick of The Colonel. The two shared a love of the Shandygaff and was the man who introduced The Colonel to cigarettes and dip. Hank was an affable affiliate who bonded well with other brothers even if they didn't share his passion for "eating ass".

Edozie - The most famous of all associates was that of Edozie (aka John), a native Nigerian with a passion for women of all makes and models. Initially we thought he was a novelty friend of the Seedman, but soon Edozie became engrossed in all facets of AKL life. He looked like Shaq at the free throw line while pounding nuclear wings at the Darkhorse with the summer crew. A man of international flavor, we bumped into him in London years later. He would later take the Seedman to his homeland where he was shamed for his caucasian role in the slave trade.

Great Moments in Shaming, Episode II: Sh*tgate

Did you ever have a nightmare you peed the bed? I'm sure you did, we all have. But, when you woke up after that dream, did you go downstairs to your living room and find fecal matter floating across the floor? If you have maybe you should be posting on this blog too. That was the reality the Seedman, Franchise, Colonel and Otis Day went through a few years ago. A sewer pipe burst and no one really seemed to care. People kept flushing, adding another deluge of toilet paper and turds to the first floor. Bugs and mosquitos converged on our indoor waste treatment plant, as the horrid stench forced the doors to remain open all hours of the day. Cats moved into the closet, unaware humans still lived there. The Seedman and others even contemplated never going downstairs again, forcing themselves to live on hot pockets and other microwaveable food for the rest of their time there. Luckily, there was a solution for the Seedman - load up his old car with 4 meatheads (one of whom is obsessed with canned salmon and "eating box") and go to Canada for the weekend! The highlight of the trip had to be when 2 meatheads decided to play "drink everytime Rocky says something stupid in Rocky V." Anyone that plays is likely to get hammered, but the two wisely decided to use whiskey. Thus, on the way back to Sh*tgate the next day the youngest meathead is puking out my window for the next six hours. I think this story might be the only good thing that ever came out of Sh*tgate.

Great Moments in Shaming, Episode I: SlamPig and the Magic Week

There was probably never a more significant week in frat life than the Spring Week of sophomore year. Before this, there were hook-up stories. After this, there was a sense of destiny. The red-headed SlamPig, so named by The Colonel before she was even seen, etched her name among the greats by fulfilling the processing order in a single week, ultimately being responsible for coining the term. The range of brothers had it all. From the seedman she thanked, to the wingman making fun of her before sucking face on the couch, to the father figure patting her on the back, to the bottom feeder of bottom feeders...the man we call came to know not as our hispanic brother, but the brother of final resort. Of course there's no telling how many more names could have been added to the list had one particular crazy, gangling looking Dahmer-esque brother not informed her of her acquired reputation after defending her as her friend. As a result, just as soon as she had entered, she was gone, etching her name on another important list...that of girls forever scarred by AKL to the point of no return. So my salute to the Slam, the pioneer, the Jefferson of putrid women.

AKL and The War on Terror

There are days in history where you remember exactly where you were. On September 11th 2001 many of us watched the non-stop news coverage in the chapter room on the big screen. Every time a replay was shown of the plane hitting the south tower, Otis Day would say "Jesus !". Needless to say Jesus got mad shout-outs throughout the entire day. One would think the Eagles or Phillies were blowing a big lead.

Then later we were blessed with the prescence and commentary of the great philosopher Trae. He entered the room most late in the afternoon and declared to all "This is so surreal". He was disappointed when his gravitas found no traction.

In early 2003 the war in Iraq loomed during the Spring semester. One man celebrated during the build-up and opening operations by blasting Outkast's "Bombs Over Baghdad" out of his room. That man, is simply the tactful guru known as The Goat.

Shipping Up to Boston

Our fraternity was filled with colorful and lovable characters. Derek Benoit (aka DB Dbetes) was one of those guys that slowly grew on you over time. It was fun having a brother with some kind of chronic ailment that required multiple injections. And who can forget how his stock sky-rocketed when he stopped hanging out with Hyer.

One of my favorite DB talking points was the daily Boston vacation invitation. No matter who he was with, you would receive an invitation to visit him in Boston on summer break. Included in your travel itinerary was mandatory deep sea fishing and tickets to a Boston College football game. In 2003 DB would push tickets for future games as far away as 2007. I imagine DB already has the inside track on the 2013 season tickets. Anybody want to go ?

Snowmen and Couches

While the house demonstrated extreme ability to drive lady folk away, there was also a strong knack at driving brothers away. A wide variety of brother type faded away by moving off campus or in some cases vanishing all together. One brother managed to dissapear while still living in the house. But no greater collective effort was unintentionally undertaken than the exportation of DB's non needled wielding littler brother. Was pounding on his door on a Wednesday night necessary? Probably not. But the minute he emerged with a bat in hand, his fate was sealed. Every Wednesday resulted in more harrassment, culminating in the erection of a snowman outside his door and a couch propped up behind it. I'm not sure whhy he left after that (or where we went), and I'm not going to say I cared even remotely. But still, it seems like a bit of an overreaction. I think the lesson anyone can take from this is that reacting to a little noise by threatening to go Mark McGwire on someone will probably lead to more harrassment...unless of course he actually swung at someone, but I mean come on, this wasn't (insert inappropriate town here).

The Goat gets a Shower

Many members made the road trip to Columbus to see the game and was left watching the game with the Goat and his squeeze. This was the girl whose house would burn down soon after.

The Goat and lady friend came down to the chapter room with a bottle of Citron and some kind of mixer. The 3 of us watched the proceedings unfold while the Goat pounded several drinks.

At some point the Goat made a rude comment to the lady and she quickly responded by throwing her drink in his face. The Goat sat stunned after she ran off upstairs. The Goat then followed her upstairs where he disappeared for the next 20 minutes to atone for his sins. The Goat sure knew how to pick em'.

Foosballgate

Some of my favorite memories include the controversies that arose around the house. Different 'gates' which represented the trivial scandals that found their way to chapter. Who can forget Foosballgate. The 2 man cabal (Hoff and Trae) who started pitching a foosball table to a lukewarm response at a barbecue. The next thing you know they went out and ordered the table and excitingly spread the news at chapter. Bam . . . controversy erupts. The cabal was shocked when members stood up to oppose the table.

First man up Guillama. "Why are we buying a foosball table when we are saving money to get a hot tub?"

The gallery concurred and the cabal went down in shame. This was the beginning of the downfall of the cabal. Foot soldiers were later recruited to seize the assets of the cabal. The new regime did not fall for the old 'Trae is trying to sell his housing contract' line.

Canning Weekend

Who can forget our first canning trip to White Lotus' house? It was quite a crew: Seedman, the Goat, Franchise (I think), and of course White Lotus. Well, we are hanging out, watching the Burbs numerous times, and who comes in but White Lotus' sister. Within minutes, she is twirling around in her chair, spread eagle, eyeing up the Goat. The last time the Goat got that level of sympathy his girl had just burnt her house down.

The only other time I saw the Goat happier was when he found some Johnny Rebel MP3s and decided it was a good idea to blast the music so all our neighbors could hear it. Johnny was not one for political correctness, but the Goat and his lizard did enjoy them.

Hot or Not

Remember that great website? I just looked at it today and was the quote that popped up:

A little boy asks Grandpa O'Malley, "Can I have five bucks to buy a guinea pig?" "Here", says the old man as he hands the young boy a $10 bill. "Go get yourself a nice irish girl instead."

Beginnings

Seedman asked me to write a post to test this out, so I thought I would begin at the best possible spot ... the beginning. The first night I met Seedman (who at that time was no where near capable of being the moniker he now uses). As people were introducing themselves at this particular event whose heteroness I now question, we decided to tell jokes. Most were pretty typical, until we got to Seedman, who offered a yarn I'll never forget. The subject matter had to do with sorority girls and grilled cheese sandwiches. Was it funny? Only if you're laughing AT him. In fact I thought he was quite strange. But here we are now, members on a blog we should be too mature for by now. But I suppose it's best we hang on to some memories. Like grilled cheese.

So share some people, and nicknames, and trees of taste. And let's hope one day a now fat shell of a woman who once had such promise in life reads about a tale of how she earned the nickname 'Old Faithful'.

Or share other stories too. Like how Wall-E may be one of the 10 best movies I have ever seen (that's no joke...seriously, check it out)

For now I'm out...but expect more from The Franchise, and the return of the Vincent Price photo.