Great Moments in Shaming, Episode I: SlamPig and the Magic Week

There was probably never a more significant week in frat life than the Spring Week of sophomore year. Before this, there were hook-up stories. After this, there was a sense of destiny. The red-headed SlamPig, so named by The Colonel before she was even seen, etched her name among the greats by fulfilling the processing order in a single week, ultimately being responsible for coining the term. The range of brothers had it all. From the seedman she thanked, to the wingman making fun of her before sucking face on the couch, to the father figure patting her on the back, to the bottom feeder of bottom feeders...the man we call came to know not as our hispanic brother, but the brother of final resort. Of course there's no telling how many more names could have been added to the list had one particular crazy, gangling looking Dahmer-esque brother not informed her of her acquired reputation after defending her as her friend. As a result, just as soon as she had entered, she was gone, etching her name on another important list...that of girls forever scarred by AKL to the point of no return. So my salute to the Slam, the pioneer, the Jefferson of putrid women.